My son has now been in America for five days and his absence has really made me appreciate the sparkling radiance that illuminated my world the day he was born.
Until that day I was alone in my special world, as a child this was a fantastical place, filled with adventures and creatures conceived in my imagination fuelled by my love of literature! However as I grew up the demands of my peers for me conform to their concept of an “acceptable member of conventional society” penetrated the stratosphere of my reality. The latter part of my teenage years seemed to be a period in which the darkness sought out and extinguished every last flame of belief and hope in this magical existence… Much akin to the way “The Nothing” swept across Fantasia consuming everything in “The NeverEnding Story”.
However this all changed the day my son was born. Little did I know on that day, as I gazed in wonder at this perfect miniature person, how not only would he dispel “The Nothing” from my special world but that I would no longer be alone as it transformed into our special world.
It’s the little things sometimes that make it so amazing, the shared routines, the mutual understanding of how we interact with our environment, the ability to laugh together at our “Specialness”.
Each day “The Nothing” has been forced to retreat ever further, and since my sons diagnoses with Aspergers 6 years ago there is no remaining sanctuary for “The Nothing” within our magical kingdom as with each step taken to understand what this means for him I have learnt increasingly more about myself and my journey.
It is hard to explain in words what delight in my existence he has given to me, how the perception of my “quirks” has altered from disadvantages to gifts, how a shared Aspie reaction or “tic” can cause uncontrollable “my cheeks hurt from laughing too much” hysterics rather than embarrassment or shame.
You made my special world, our special world, and I thank God for that every day.